the battle of the frogs and the mice! it’s an ancient greek parody of the iliad (some ancient sources even claim that homer himself wrote it, which is impossible but also incredibly charming to imagine)
the plot is that crumbsnatcher, the prince of the mice, stops for a drink of water and meets the king of the frogs, who offers him a tour of his kingdom. but when crumbsnatcher is riding the king’s back through the pond, a snake appears! the frog king goes under the water to avoid it, drowning crumbsnatcher in the process, so the mice declare war on the frogs
it features all the things you’d expect in an epic (epic language, scenes of putting on armor, and even an aristeia for the mice), and it has the most delightful conclusion when zeus prevents the mice from killing all the frogs by throwing a thunderbolt at them and, when that doesn’t work, sending crabs to scare them
sententia antiquae has a delightful translation of it here!
i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers
i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently
